Copy editing for structure, style and grammar
Jacob Richey corrected AP style, grammar, editorial and structural issues in a story on the State of the University address at the University of Missouri — a yearly address that needed a fresh news angle. See the unedited copy from the reporter with Richey’s commentary and reasoning in bold italics under each paragraph, with points of reference highlighted. Then, find the final, published copy from KOMU 8’s website.
Unedited draft
The University presented its State of the University address.
This lede is nonspecific to many aspects of the speech, including the date and takeaways of the speech. I added these details to the lede to highlight the newsworthy aspects of the speech.
The address was hosted by UM President and Chancellor Mun Choi, located in Jesse Auditorium, bringing the community together to reflect on the accomplishments and the future of MU.
Choi’s title is incorrect, and the latter half of this graf editorializes the event to establish a certain viewpoint for readers to take about the event and its significance.
The University's rank in Best Values rose from the previous #7 spot, to now being ranked #4 among flagship universities.
MU also was named #10 best for educating future leaders by Time magazine.
Presenting a 93 percent retention rate, the highest retention in MU history, as well as a 75 percent graduation rate, the highest of public universities in the state of Missouri.
I corrected AP style errors with numerals throughout. The above graf is also a sentence fragment, lacking a subject.
The strides Mizzou is making is not going unnoticed. With over 33,000 applications and welcoming its largest class this fall, comprising of over 9,200 students, breaking MU records.
The first sentence of this graf is editorialization — it makes a claim without providing attribution to a source. The second sentence of the graf is a fragment, and it incorrectly uses the word “comprise.”
"It's one thing to accept and admit students. But, it's the kind of caring, nurturing environment that we provide tomake sure students are successful," Mun Choi said.
As recognizing the accomplishments made, Choi said MU cannot stop the efforts.
"In order for us to meet the greater needs that are coming in future years, and delivering for Missourians, we need tokeep making investments," President Mun Choi said.
Looking towards the future, the University is planning 10 future projects for MU. Some of these include the Memorial Stadium improvements project, Nextgen MURR, and creating the Thompson Center for autism and neurodevelopment.
In addition to correcting various capitalization and AP style errors, I added inbound links to past coverage on these projects to improve SEO and guide users to more information.
Choi closed his address by telling the audience how the goal of MU is to foster a welcoming community.
"A community we all have... is to create an environment where we value each individual, [the] uniqueness of the individual, and to engage their different perspective, experiences and backgrounds. So, we can advance our goal of achieving excellence of all that we do at the university," President Mun Choi said.
This lede is nonspecific to many aspects of the speech, including the date and takeaways of the speech. I added these details to the lede to highlight the newsworthy aspects of the speech.
The address was hosted by UM President and Chancellor Mun Choi, located in Jesse Auditorium, bringing the community together to reflect on the accomplishments and the future of MU.
Choi’s title is incorrect, and the latter half of this graf editorializes the event to establish a certain viewpoint for readers to take about the event and its significance.
The University's rank in Best Values rose from the previous #7 spot, to now being ranked #4 among flagship universities.
MU also was named #10 best for educating future leaders by Time magazine.
Presenting a 93 percent retention rate, the highest retention in MU history, as well as a 75 percent graduation rate, the highest of public universities in the state of Missouri.
I corrected AP style errors with numerals throughout. The above graf is also a sentence fragment, lacking a subject.
The strides Mizzou is making is not going unnoticed. With over 33,000 applications and welcoming its largest class this fall, comprising of over 9,200 students, breaking MU records.
The first sentence of this graf is editorialization — it makes a claim without providing attribution to a source. The second sentence of the graf is a fragment, and it incorrectly uses the word “comprise.”
"It's one thing to accept and admit students. But, it's the kind of caring, nurturing environment that we provide tomake sure students are successful," Mun Choi said.
As recognizing the accomplishments made, Choi said MU cannot stop the efforts.
"In order for us to meet the greater needs that are coming in future years, and delivering for Missourians, we need tokeep making investments," President Mun Choi said.
Looking towards the future, the University is planning 10 future projects for MU. Some of these include the Memorial Stadium improvements project, Nextgen MURR, and creating the Thompson Center for autism and neurodevelopment.
In addition to correcting various capitalization and AP style errors, I added inbound links to past coverage on these projects to improve SEO and guide users to more information.
Choi closed his address by telling the audience how the goal of MU is to foster a welcoming community.
"A community we all have... is to create an environment where we value each individual, [the] uniqueness of the individual, and to engage their different perspective, experiences and backgrounds. So, we can advance our goal of achieving excellence of all that we do at the university," President Mun Choi said.
Edited copy
The University of Missouri highlighted recent recognitions and future projects at its annual State of the University address Wednesday.
UM System President and MU Chancellor Mun Choi gave the address in Jesse Auditorium.
Choi said the university's rank in "best value" among flagship universities by the U.S. News and World Report rose to No. 4 from its previous No. 7 spot.
MU also was named No. 10 for educating future leaders by Time magazine in December. The university presented a 93% retention rate among first-year students, the highest retention in MU history, as well as a 75% graduation rate, the highest of public universities in Missouri.
MU had more than 33,000 applications for the freshman class and welcomed its largest class this fall, comprising over 9,200 students, breaking MU records.
"It's one thing to accept and admit students," Choi said, "but, it's the kind of caring, nurturing environment that we provide to make sure students are successful."
The university is planning 10 future projects for MU, including improvements to Memorial Stadium, the research reactor Nextgen MURR and completing the new facility for the Thompson Center for Autism and Neurodevelopment.
"In order for us to meet the greater needs that are coming in future years and delivering for Missourians, we need to keep making investments," Choi said.
Choi closed his address by saying MU's goal MU is to foster a welcoming community.
"A community we all have ... is to create an environment where we value each individual, (the) uniqueness of the individual and to engage their different perspective, experiences and backgrounds," Choi said. "So, we can advance our goal of achieving excellence of all that we do at the university."
UM System President and MU Chancellor Mun Choi gave the address in Jesse Auditorium.
Choi said the university's rank in "best value" among flagship universities by the U.S. News and World Report rose to No. 4 from its previous No. 7 spot.
MU also was named No. 10 for educating future leaders by Time magazine in December. The university presented a 93% retention rate among first-year students, the highest retention in MU history, as well as a 75% graduation rate, the highest of public universities in Missouri.
MU had more than 33,000 applications for the freshman class and welcomed its largest class this fall, comprising over 9,200 students, breaking MU records.
"It's one thing to accept and admit students," Choi said, "but, it's the kind of caring, nurturing environment that we provide to make sure students are successful."
The university is planning 10 future projects for MU, including improvements to Memorial Stadium, the research reactor Nextgen MURR and completing the new facility for the Thompson Center for Autism and Neurodevelopment.
"In order for us to meet the greater needs that are coming in future years and delivering for Missourians, we need to keep making investments," Choi said.
Choi closed his address by saying MU's goal MU is to foster a welcoming community.
"A community we all have ... is to create an environment where we value each individual, (the) uniqueness of the individual and to engage their different perspective, experiences and backgrounds," Choi said. "So, we can advance our goal of achieving excellence of all that we do at the university."